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Top Scorer - Become a Striker
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  1. Melbourne Victory.... Yuck.

    Oh well lets hope i can leave them soon.


    I was an interesting season with 2 players passing the 1 million mark. Few players became immediately first choice attacker. And on failed to find a club. Almost everyone who has a club made the debut for first team, except only one.



    Christopher Burns is the first one to be offered a professional contract, making him the highest paid striker among us.

    Our Italian Cristian Ferri is wanted by Manchester City - will he be the next Mario Balotelli? if so, i bet he will be asking "WHY ALWAYS ME?"

    Hugo Letellier might be exchanging on French giang for another, with PSG wanting to snatch him from AS Monaco.

    Meanwhile young Hampus Silverholt is being kept an eye on by the likes of Liverpool, Lyon, Bayern and Juventus. Will he exchange being the first one on the team sheet for being another one in the reserves?

    After an impressive season at Swindon (where he led the team one position higher than expected at the start of the season, 9th) Daniel Porter might be looking for a way out. Lucky for him that the top English clubs are interested in his services.

    And last but not least, we have the mysterious Yeti, the only man in the world who is poorer than Ivan Ivanovich. English not-so-good teams, like Crewe, Derby and Millwall are interested in him. Will he decide to stay single or not - find out in our next episode.


    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Top Scorer - Become a Striker-all.png  
    Last edited by Telstar; 22/04/2019 at 07:30 PM. Reason: added comparison pic

  3. My player looks class, happy with that!

  4. No love for the Yeti!

  5. Quote Originally Posted by Yeti01 View Post
    No love for the Yeti!
    Someone loves Yeti his mum

  6. Well I won the U18 division cup with Bournemouth and my value has reached £6 million already! Hopefully I'll get a few more cup games under my belt next season!

  7. It's pretty cool Lecter signed with Milan but he isn't going to get any game time!

  8. Anything happening now mate?

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Average Joe View Post
    Anything happening now mate?
    yeah, work. i wil try to get an update out on friday

  10. SEASON 2

    Now that the second season is over, let's take a look how our little pros did. Are they closer to beating Messi's and Ronaldo's records or not. Is Ivanovich still working for bread crumbs? Is Jones still unemployed? Is Caldeira still at a club he hates? Who is most valuable and who broke into the first team?



    Ritchie is a simple Peruvian boy. He just wants to make shitload of money. He is currently earning 60€ per week and will be earning 500€ p/w after his professional contract begins. He is an ambitious kid, whose dream is to become Barcelona's top man. He wants to be the Peruvian Messi. He is also thinking of leaving Universitario, because he embarrassed himself there. He pulled his groin, when he was kicking the ball. That's something that stays with you all the time.


    Derek is our first super star. He made his big break through season at just 17 years old. The Bristol City supporter made his first appearance for Holland mens team also and if that is not a sign of a great player, i don't know what is. He played against Austria and was subbed off on the 51st minute having embarrassed himself with a score of 6.6. Luckily his second game against Bosnia& Herzegovina was a success, 1 goal, 8.7 rating, 90 min played. Only problem is that there is a rumor going around in Amsterdam that Aru'un was born a woman.


    Mr. Ball has had 6 injuries in his time here. But none of the too serious, with only one injury having lasted longer than 7 days - a broken collarbone. He also broke a Premier League record - Youngest Goalscorer, 15 years 339 days. But that did not stop Bournemouth from being relegated. It's a shame.


    Our young Scottish prodigy is living a dream. Favourite clubs key player, highest wage, first international apps and goals. Debut was a bit disappointing for everyone (3-0 loss to Croatia), but next 2 games the won 3-0 against Armenia and Faroe Islands with Burns scoring in both games.


    Future Portuguese Ronaldo? Perhaps. But at the moment he reminds me more of his teammate Soares. Even though he hates hhis club, he is enjoying his time there and hopes to break into the first team in his third season. His wage is an impressive 0.0% of clubs total wage bill. A record of sorts. In reality he is quite the record breaker - European Champions Cup youngest player to appear in a match, Porto's youngest player to score, Portuguese PL and also Porto's youngest player to appear in a match. He was also substitute in FC Porto's Seasonal Best Eleven.


    Son of an Italian fisherman is currently overwhelmed by the interest shown in him. All the greats, Juventus, Man City, Man Utd, Tottenham, Chelsea, Liverpool, are interested in him. Okay maybe not all greats, but at least some good and some better clubs. Ferri himself would rather go to Juventus, his papa's favourite club. If he does go back to his homeland, at least he will learn from the best - Ronaldo, Mandzukic and Dybala. Added bonus will be his competition with Moise Kean.


    My favourite player. He has had quite the journey. You could even say he is a Russian journeyman. Or from rags to lesser rags? From 9€ p/w to 1200€ p/w. The russian dream. The Moscow born man is also an avid gym visitor. His last time there he was lifting such great weights that he even tore his abdominal muscle. Who says you can't hurt yourself by lifting 10kg...


    Clubless, jobless, homeless. But still optimistic. A lot of teams are still interested in him. Like bournemouth, Derby, Burton and Colchester. Will he join Chris Ball as a teammate at Bournemouth - maybe. Or maybe he is just very indecisive. Or maybe Charles Boyle is just undercover.


    Our lord and saviour is not in a galaxay far away. He is just on the other side of the globe, in Australia. However he was not a saviour in his debut game for Australia having lost to Algeria 1-0. He was named in Hyunday A-League young player of the year shortlist, but it was just a bit too far out of his reach.


    Sadly youth goals are not what we are after...


    Who said eating your competition wasn't the answer. I certainly know it wasn't Luis Suarez. Hannibal is Luis Suarez's bastard son and both share the same proclivities toward human flesh. Maybe that's why he hasn't trained as much? When he joine Milan, Gattuso asked him "You're one of Luis Suarez's, aren't you?" as the facial similarity was so close.


    The baguette loving Hugo has formed a friendship with his Polish teammate Kamil Glik. They probably bonded over their countries history as they were heard leaving the hotel saying "damn Germans!". We will see where that leads them. Maybe to GULAG with Ivan.


    If you look closely you can see the ambition and pure desire in Malaka's almost indistinguishable black eyes in his profile picture (his profile pic is in his overview picture), which is why he won the Hyunday A-League young player of the year not Jedi. And that why he has been injured only once and for only 3 days. Nothing can keep him down. Pusti Malaka is pure desire, an unstoppable force, an immovable object, the perfect man.


    Being still in his chilhood, playing with his childhood friends, Brane Ormso has no idea that he will most likely put into the world of grown up next season, where he has to prove his worth or just stop.


    After 2 incredible season at Swindon and Sky Bet League 2, he impressed former England giants manchester United. he is the biggest transfer in transfer fee but second biggest transfer in club wise this season. Dubbed to be the new Michael Owen, will he make United glorious in the present also not just in the past? Only time will tell.


    The bigest transfer. From a small Swedish club to true European giants. He could not have done better. The greatest sucess story so far. Now only to overthrow Lewandowski and the he is in the promised land.


    Telstar is lurking in the shadows. Waiting for his time or rather waiting patiently till Aru'un gets injured or makes a mistake so severe he has to be benched. Allan is the ultimate manipulator. He has been whispering terrible rumors about Derek for months now, hoping he will get transferred away nad he can take Ajax to Champions League winners himself.


    Vampire. That is what people say about him. He is a goal scoring vampire. They say that he sucks the hopes and dreams of his opposition by scoring so many goals, that they just retire and never play the game again, not even with their kids. Even the manager is scared to bench Vlad, because he might just give him depression. Ares Vlad is the one that kids will be telling their kid and their kids kids. He will be a Romanina legend.


  11. Man I Probaly So Bad At Playing With Porto
    I Hope Will Get A 3 Year Loan At Estoril So I Can Leave Porto In 2023

  12. Brane aint done nothing this year! 18 goals in 30 odd noncompetitive games and 1 goal in 3 U21 games isn't too bad for a 16 year old but needs to start getting games for the first team!

  13. Hey 9 euros to over 1k means Ivan is now a Roublenaire just think of all that wodka my man can get for that. Seriously however, it is time to move to the capitalist pigs in the West and earn some Euros for mama. Lol Forget last years beast from the East I can guarantee Ivan will be the new Beast, just as soon as his club lets him leave mother Russia.

  14. 37 goals in 66 games, now that's a record I can live with! Hopefully my time in League 2 will keep me grounded and concentrated!

  15. With Bournemouth being relegated to the Championship some of their bigger strikers might leave and I might get regular first team foot all next season now! Still, happy to have broken the premier league goalscorer record and I'm now worth over 12 million!

  16. Malaka looking good so far. Not sure about the wages... Only earning enough for 2-3 kebabs a week.

  17. Quote Originally Posted by KillerRoo View Post
    Malaka looking good so far. Not sure about the wages... Only earning enough for 2-3 kebabs a week.
    You should join Ivan and get a huge pay rise. Ivan's wages have increased from a bottle of vodka to 100 bottles of vodka a week (and it is the vodka the Tsar use to drink to boot).

  18. SEASON 3

    Lets see who has the most goals and appearances. Who has been the best for their nation. Who has transferred.


    Andrews feels that he has accomplished everything he can in his home and is looking for a way out to Europe. He will be joining Braga to compete with Hugo Caldeira for the Portuguese title.


    One of the best with him being the top choice for the best club in Holland. Total played 2590 minutes this season


    Bournemouth wunderkind has banged the club up to Premier League after the devastating Season 2. Stoke is interested in him. But I believe he will stay in Bournemouth or leave only for a bigger club.

    Burns is a bit weird man. He got a chance to play at his childhood dream club, but chose to leave for Leicester in England. Should have stayed in Rangers, because now he has to compete with Brane Ormso.


    Caldeira did become a key player this season like he predicted last time. He might be leaving for Manchester United and possible champions league glory.


    The Italian failed once again to bring something more than a mid table finish for Brentford.


    Though not working for bottle of crappy vodka per week anymore and being a first team choice, he only managed to get 8 apps this season.


    This is just sad. If he does not find a club by 15th of August I will move him to the most reputable club that is interested in him.


    This Jedi failed to kill any kids nor score many goals. This is what happens if you think Australia is part of Europe and wants to participate in Eurovision.


    A dissapointing loan for Shane.


    19 games but only 2 goals. At least he is not rotting in Milan reserves.


    This toad-eater is one of the few who managed to have a half decent loan.


    The Australian Ivan would move to europe if only clubs were interested in him.


    Ormso will have competition as Burns will challenge him for top striker position. However impossible it might seem - he did have a completely injury freeseason.


    Manchester United decided that the red devil in training was more suited for youth games and thats where he spent the whole season. But thats what happens when the like of Rashford and Lukaku are in your team.


    This season he guided FC Bayern II to third position in 3. Liga, next season he will guide FC Bayern to first in Bundesliga.


    A mere shadow of Aru'un. Go to Barca or smth Aru'un. Leave my boy alone.


    This blood sucker will be moving further east to Spartak Moscow for 10M+ to steal Ivans vodka.



    1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"

    5. Winner of EURO 2020

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League

    All winners can choose an award that suits them from here: "add another nationality of your choice", "change clubs", "increase 2 attributes by 2 points", "send on loan to a club of your choice"

    When you answer the questionnaire, please, also add your award choice also.

  20. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"
    Edinson Cavani

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"
    Luuk De Jong

    5. Winner of EURO 2020

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions Leagues
    Sergio Aguero

    Award: Change Club to Norwich City why because Peter Crouch played there once (on loan) and potatoes grow there....
    Last edited by woolly; 11/05/2019 at 03:41 PM.

  21. Another season and another payrise for the Russian. Despite only 8 first team apperances he still manages to get runner up in the Russian Young player of the year and earn a cap for the national side. Next season may just be a very important one not just for the vodka industry in Russia but for this young star in the making.
    Telstar likes this.

  22. 1. NEYMAR
    5. FRANCE

    increase finishing and positioning

  23. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball" LIONEL MESSI

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year" LUIS SUAREZ

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe" LIONEL MESSI

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"

    5. Winner of EURO 2020 SPAIN

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League LIONEL MESSI


  24. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball" Messi

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year" Salah

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe" Messi

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe" Mbappe

    5. Winner of EURO 2020 England

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League Lewandowski

    Increase Determination and Positioning

  25. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball" Messi

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year" Neymar

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe" Messi

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe" Pogba

    5. Winner of EURO 2020 Poland

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League Lewandowski

    Loan to Queens Park Rangers

  26. 1/ Messi
    2/ Neymar
    3/ Ronaldo
    4/ Mbappe
    5/ Germany
    6/ Paulo Dybala

    If i win can i change clubs to Wolverhampton Wanderers please.

  27. 1/Lionel Messi
    3/Lionel Messi
    4/Cristiano Ronaldo
    6/Lionel Messi

    Change clubs to Crystal Palace.

  28. I Pretty Sure I Hope I Not Sign For Manchester United
    That Will Ruin The Chances To Playing
    Maybe I Think Lyon Or Maybe Schalke 04 Could Be Suit Teams To Playing

  29. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"

    5. Winner of EURO 2020

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League

    If I win, please move me to Ajax

  30. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"


    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"


    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"


    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"


    5. Winner of EURO 2020


    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League


    Increase concentration and determination

  31. The top striker slot at Leicester is mine Brane Ormso! Not too fussed about moving from Rangers as I made an early impact there and hopefully use Leicester as my next stepping stone! Not going to become the best whilst at Rangers or Leicester.

  32. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"


    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"


    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"

    5. Winner of EURO 2020


    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League


    Can Brane Ormso increase his concentration and positioning

  33. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"


    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"

    Eden Hazard

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"


    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"

    Cristiano Ronaldo

    5. Winner of EURO 2020


    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League

    Luis Suarez

    Yeti Jones

    Change club to QPR

  34. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball" --> Messi

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year" --> Salah

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe" --> Messi

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe" --> Cristiano Ronaldo

    5. Winner of EURO 2020 --> France

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League --> Cristiano Ronaldo

    Please increase finishing and strength by 2 if I get it!

  35. 1. Winner of "World Golden Ball" --> Ronaldo

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year" --> Neymar (IDK)

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe" --> Ronaldo

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe" --> Cristiano Ronaldo

    5. Winner of EURO 2020 --> Portugal (Maybe Portugal Will Do It Again)

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League --> Cristiano Ronaldo
    Change Club To Lyon

  36. Derek

    1. Derek Aru'un
    2. Derek Aru'un
    3. Derek Aru'un
    4. Derek Aru'un
    5. Derek Aru'un
    6. Derek Aru'un

    If I win, please at 2 attribute points to Derek Aru'un's work rate and bravery
    Average Joe likes this.


    1. Winner of "World Golden Ball"

    No winners.

    2. 3rd Place of "World Footballer of the Year"

    No winners

    3. Winner of "Best Player in Europe"

    Knight moved to Wolves.
    Malaka moved to Ajax.
    Caldeira moved to Lyon.

    4. Winner of "European Golden Shoe"

    Ferri moved to Chrystal Palace.
    Jones moved to QPR.
    Letellier finishing and strength increased by 2.

    5. Winner of EURO 2020

    No winners.

    6. Top Scorer of European Champions League

    No winners.

    KillerRoo likes this.

  38. Messi must have had a really poor season not to be selected for anything lol. Oh well more cheap wodka for Ivan he didn't really want to go to Norwich.

  39. Ajax BABBBYYYYYYYYYYY Give me that great youth training

  40. Quote Originally Posted by KillerRoo View Post
    Ajax BABBBYYYYYYYYYYY Give me that great youth training
    Damn you, now I have an even bigger competition

  41. It really was probably a bad idea to move where there are already 2 of you but I just want that good coaching

  42. Derek won't be overthrown

  43. SEASON 4

    Some got to boost the their abilities etc from the questionnaire, before season 4. Let's see if it paid off.


    He transferred to Braga for 575k. He filledx in the empty place left in Portugal after Caldeira left.


    Aru'un stepped away from his youth club to become the highest valued player. He brought the lightning and thunder with him to Germany, where he managed to steer RB Leipzig to Bundesliga runners up.


    This time mr. Ball took media predictions seriously and finished only one placce below the expected line-up, 13th. Ha has got some minor interest from Newcastle, who finished 11th.


    Burns went to Leicester for 22 million euros and it seems like a match made in heaven. Finishing 10th, they just only missed out on Europe by two places


    Caldeira finally managed to move away from his hated Porto. He ended up in France (he is probably eating frogs with Letellier) and became the highest paid player. He was also 2nd top goal scorer in league with 22 goals. Belotti was 1st with 27 goals.


    Seems like the transfer to Chrystal Palace was a mistake since they were relegated from Premier League. Or maybe he did on purpose to get more game time in Championship.


    The Russian Giant might be moving to Valencia to inspire fear to his enemies and teach spaniards to drink vodka. Will this be the break away from potatoes?


    Jones was lucky to get a transfer and has finally started to develop into something resembling a football player.


    Australians first season in England was somewhat successful. Wolves finished 3rd but failed to qualify for promotion.


    Lawman finally went on loan where he got to play, although it was disappointing. Nine goals in 34 games.


    The fast cannibal was 5th top scorer in Serie B (12 goals, first place was Davide Merola with 19 goals). The cannibal might not be as goalhungry as he is fleshhungry.


    A bad season for this baguette loving frenchman as he only scored 8 goals in Ligue 1. 15 goals in total in 52 games.


    This wannabe Steve Irwin made a big mnistake coming to Ajax. He was lucky to get 4 first team appearences.


    Atletico Madrid, Manchester City or Newcastle. Brane has got some decisions to make. Where to go. I suggested Atletico for his developement but he has ignored me. We shall wait and see.


    Porter is thinking about going on loan after sitting on bench for 2.5 seasons.


    The swedish wonderkid is absolutely furious. He has requested to be transferred. Bayern is currently asking 19.75 million for him.


    After Aru'un left, Telstar got the fame he had always dreamt of. But I am afraid that his chase of fame is what brings him down. Although he did become Eredivisie top goal scorer with 15 goals. Second to fourth place were Paciencia, Neres and Goncalves with 14 goals.


    Tranferred for 9 mill to Spartak Moscow the Romanian won the league title right in front of Ivan's nose.


    1magine likes this.

  44. Well Shit...... Mistakes may have been made
    Telstar and WeArePalace like this.

  45. Yeah Be Goalscorer In France
    I Really Hate That I Chose Porto Over Benfica
    Or Maybe Two Or Three Year Loan At Segunda Liga Or Maybe Midtable Primeira Liga

  46. Valencia seems a good option for young Ivan. He may even be able to mix the sangria with some wodka and teach those Spaniards a thing or two about real drink. It could go pearshaped however, if the Russian secret police and the Russian Mafia have anything to do with it....
    Telstar likes this.

  47. Well Ormso's favourite team are Newcastle, wonder where he will go if anywhere

  48. SEASON 5


    Highest valued player is Christopher Burns (also most expensive scottish player) (helped his team reach 8th ith the hopes of repeating 15/16 season in the near future) and next is Hugo Caldeira, who has been in perfect goal scoring form for the past 3 seasons. Hugo Caldeira has had only 3 injuries during the last 3 seasons and none of the serious (4 injuries in 5 seasons).

    Highest paid player Derek Aru'un has kept his medium goalscoring form in Germany - not bat, not good. Leipzing finised second, right behind Bayern München. Derek failed to reach TOP 5 Scorer leaderboard.
    But Allan Telstar did. He was 4th with 15 league goals. This shows what one successful season with Ajax can do - transfer you for 23 mil to German top club Borussia Dortmund in order to finish the league in 4th place instead on first.
    So we shall move over to Malaka and look how he fared as his first season as top choice striker at Ajax has finished. He already has interest from Atletico, Inter, Valencia and PSG. MMMMM, fourth place, here I come. Malaka had a good season, having statistically scored in every other match.

    One of the biggest transfers this season was made by Christian Ferri. After a successful half-season in championship with Crystal Palace, Manchester City decided to pick up the poor Italian for 50 million pounds. Making him the second player in Leaderboard "Transfer Fees Received" with 51 mil.
    First one is none other than Chris Ball. Zinedine Zidane decided to splash some cash on one of the best up and coming homegrown stars. The 77 million fee allowed him to start 2 games and score 2 goals. But it did make him the most expensive english player.

    The second best National youth team player is baguette-loving Hugo Letellier (31 goals in 30 games). The strong almost-perfect-finisher bagged 20 goals and got 5 place in top scorers in Ligue 1, just behind Caldeira with 18 goals. Letellier's bad luck does not end there. His club, AS Monaco also finished just 1 point behind Caldeira's club (OL, 2nd, 82 pts; AS Monaco, 3rd, 81 pts).
    The best National youth team player is the swedish national treasure Hampus Silverholt (25 goals in 26 games). Frustrated in Bayern II, Silverholt went on loan to Napoli, where he failed to capitalise his moment and got a poor rating of 6.77 (given by football experts)

    On the other end of the spectrum we have Ritchie Andrews who failed to appear in any National youth team games, but went straight to Peru's main team. The peruvian national seems to be enjoying the gap left in Portugal after Caldeira left as he grabs second place in Top Scorer leaderboard.
    Second one is Jedi Knight, who did a bit better in youth team (1 game, 1 goal). He went on to become main striker for Australia. Jedi took a great step up from championship to Bundesliga. He did not let his chance go to waste, he scored 5 goals in 3 starts and 9 subs.

    As we look east we see Ivan, begging for breadcrumbs. Even though he transferred to Spartak Moscow, bad habits are hard to beat. His goals scoring habits are tough to beat, especially if you are as hungry and drunk like our Ivan.
    If Ivan was sober and ate normally he could be like this SEASONS TOP SCORER Ares Vlad. An amazing 33 goals in 44 games. And only worth 24 mil. Although his drug habits might come out if he transfers to Arsenal or Chelsea.

    Daniel Porter is finally getting some game time after leaving Swindon. The rotatational striker did and okay season of 10 goals in 18 matches.
    Another Englishman is Shane Lawman. Still more suited to the less competitive youth games.
    Of course we also have Brane Ormso, who is in the shadow of his big scottish brother Christopher Burns. A game here and there leads him being a key player in Leicester, despite not playing even half the league matches.

    Now we have another Italian who is, slowly but steadily, becoming better season-by-season. More games means more goals mean better ratings.

    Last but not least we have Yeti Jones, who failed to make his mark in the Championship.

  49. Great to see another update of this although I'm not too happy with Bayern for ruining me!

  50. Maybe the Ajax move will pay off!

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